What Is Love?

It feels like there is a lack of love in many of our communities and in our nation as a whole. There is a deficiency of civility, comradery, and grace. An absence of agape can be seen in plain view in the growing numbers of deaths of despair, the mental health crisis, and the homelessness emergency. It can be experienced in the alienation in families and the overtness of people who freely express their hate. We need a road to sanity, for love is deeply sane. But what is love, really? How do we feed it, feel it, and live it?

Every spiritual and religious tradition I am aware of speaks of love as the underpinning of a relationship with the Transcendent; though from tradition to tradition, the specific verbiage and nuance vary. Buddhists speak of loving kindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity; love is a state of mind, a way of being, and an ethic for interacting with all others. The American Council of Witches, or Wiccans, describe love in terms of personal responsibility, harmony with nature, and equality of femininity and masculinity.

Christian holy scripture puts love in unambiguous terms: “Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. (1 John 4:8, NRSV).” God is love, love is God. Christianity, which was developed in the highly legalistic society of Rome, puts love in terms of statute, assigning to humanity the Law of Love: “You shall love the Lord your God with all you heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength…. You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than this. (Mark 12:3-31, NRSV).” No commandment is greater than this.

So, what exactly is love? Is it a feeling? An action? A way of being? Yes, yes, and yes. Love feels good, acts compassionately, and emanates from someone without them even needing to speak. It is human goodness, kindness, and generosity. How it manifests varies, of course, but the outcome improves the human condition and does not do harm.

I suggest we need to find a way back to love- love of the Divine, love of each other, and love of self. We are one people, diverse and beautiful. We are one humanity, flawed, broken, and yet capable of astonishing goodness. We must nurture love within ourselves, grow it, and share it, courageously. From this perspective, we then nurture our communities.

Suggested homework: How does love show up in your life? What does it look like, feel like, and sound like? How do you know when it is there or when it has gone?