What does your soul need?

Everyone has spiritual needs. The faithful, the faithless, and the agnostics all have soul-requirements. A happy soul is evident in those who feel a sense of purpose and belonging. Those with well-fed souls have a shine in their eyes and a warmth in their demeanor. They are filled up from the deepest level. A neglected soul is clearly visible in those with persistent anger, grievance, arrogance, and inhospitality. Most folks fall somewhere in the middle, enjoying good times and suffering bad times. Most of us are occasionally blissed-out when things come together, yet often stressed and uncentered while dealing with the day-to-day grind of life.

How do we identify our soul’s needs?

In the field of chaplaincy, there is a useful tool for figuring this out. It is called the AIM Model, and its purpose is to assess spiritual needs of patients in a clinical setting. AIM defines spirituality as encompassing the parts of life related to meaning and direction, self-worth and belonging, and to loving and being loved; the work of these is often done by fostering reconciliation with broken relationships (Shields, 78). Individually, we can use it to get a sense of our own needs, and to know if they are being met.

Questions one can ask to assess their soul’s needs are: 1. Do I feel a sense of meaning in my life? What direction am I going? Is it the right one? Do I value myself? Do I belong within a family, social group, culture, or community? Who is my community, and do I participate fully in it? Am I loved? How do I love others? Do I love them well? Do I feel alienated from loved ones and is there a possibility for reconciliation?

Once we have identified our soul’s most pressing needs, we can begin to do the work of fulfilling them.

An example: For me lately, as my children are launching into adulthood, I have struggled with empty nest syndrome. This is a soul need of “belonging.” When my boys lived at home, I had a powerful feeling of belonging with them. Though I am still a mom, and my family still needs each other, it’s different now. To meet this new soul need, I have become a Chaplain Resident, in community with a group of residents. Meeting my soul’s need for belonging is being met through Clinical Pastoral Education at this time. When my training is done, I will find a work home, and hopefully a sense of belonging there.

As always, it’s important to watch our boundaries with others when exploring topics of the soul, spirituality, and the transcendent. No one can tell someone else with any certainty what their soul is lacking, we must realize it for ourselves. Yet we must also support each other in discovering our soul’s needs and in meeting them. We support each other by asking open questions, listening, being present, and providing a loving perspective.

Everyone’s soul has needs. It is the work of the spiritual care professional to assist others by guiding, supporting, and being witness to their journey. It is the responsibility of all of us to be loving and kind to each other as we continue to search for the fulfillment and completion of our Beings.

What are your soul's needs?

Michele Shields, Allison Kestenbaum, Laura B. Dunn, “Spiritual AIM and the work of the chaplain: A model for assessing spiritual needs and outcomes in relationship” (London: Cambridge University Press, 2013), 78.